a beautiful disaster

This week I've been broken.
From Sunday night to this very moment, God is shaking me.

He's got me questioning my relationships, how I spend my time, and where my heart lies.
I hate not knowing where my life is headed, but I hate even more that I can't just give that to God and let His will be done.  Why is it so hard to lay my burdens at the cross? Why can't I fully trust that God's got it under control? ...easier said than done.  I feel like I'm spinning in circles, trying to find the door.

I finally said out loud today that I'm terrified to go to the Philippines.  I feel like I should have an overwhelming confidence, and I should be dancing for joy that I get to share the love of God to people I've never met.  ...but I'm horrified.  Time to pray about this one, I'm thinking.

God's got a plan. I just have to learn to follow.

each day starts new

Today was an incredibly beautiful day.  Easy final, birthday get-together for a great friend, and a few hours with someone who means the world to me.  I'm definitely blessed.  


When I was thinking about how lucky I am to experience things like this, I was compelled to pick up my bible.  When I was expecting to go and read some verses about loving one another and being in fellowship with those I love, God took it to a whole new level for me.  Instead of just reading about how great it is to do those things, He sent me to Romans 12.  What a beautiful chapter.  I was really caught by these verses...

⁹ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. ¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³ Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

 ¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.^[c] Do not be conceited.

What a beautiful statement of love.  Why would you want anyone to love you if they didn't mean it? Loving someone with your whole heart is the only way to go. When you're love with God is on fire, it makes it easier to show those around you love....and it's Godly love :)  Sometimes it's really hard for me to show love, or complete love.  It's so much easier to do anything when you are first rooted in God.  Only He can show you how to love others and care for the ones that mean the most to you.  Also, it's okay to be sad, happy, angry, scared...anything, as long as you share and listen to the feelings of your friends.  Take a step back   When you can experience something with someone else, it means so much more.  What good is loving when you've got no one to love? I, personally, love to love and be loved.  It's a feeling that not much can replace.  So, to all of you I say go and love someone wholeheartedly. It's gonna change your life.  

Share life. Share love. Share God. 

Day 1

This is my very first blogging experience.  WOOT.

I am so excited to share my journey with those of you who care to know.  God is making big changes in my life, and I'm pumped.




Let me just start with what happened the other day.  ...but it needs a back story.  I go to the Christian Campus House and they offer missions trips every year.  This year the opportunities were Philadelphia, Missippi, Mexico and the Philippines.  I saw the trips and decided I needed to use the hands God gave me in a positive way.  I decided on Philly. It's safe, in the US and I'll be going with 20 other people.  Good plan, right?


God has this great gift of planning, which will always override mine.  He already knows what He wants me to do, and He thinks it's more fun to surprise me with it than let me know in advance. He's just funny like that.


So there I was, pumped to go north east.  Went to bed on Monday night praying for God to give me helping hands and an open heart for this trip.  I wake up on Tuesday...and, surprise!, I'm not going to Philadelphia anymore.  I'm going to the Philippines.  The country.  The country 8500 miles away from Missouri.  ...side note...I have been praying for God to lead my life recently...and it happened.  God laid such a big idea on my heart.  All the sudden I'm going to travel to the other side of the world to serve my God.  He had everything planned out.  I called my mom to talk to her about it and...if you know my mom, you know this is weird...she was completely okay with it.  She WANTS me to go.  How does something like this happen? How can overnight, my travels be changed from a 2 hour flight to a 22 hour flight?  
              GOD. Thats how. 
I am completely terrified, nervous, worried, and all those weird emotions.  But underneath it all, I'm ecstatic.  I am so pumped that He has this plan for me, and I can't wait to see the people who are loved by God on the other side of the earth.  What a blessing.  What an indescribable blessing God's given me.  

It is the LORD your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him. 
<3 Deuteronomy 13:4


What does it look like to let God lead your life? What does it look like to give Him control? Easier said than done, but how amazing it is when you let it happen. 


Peace and Blessings,
Meagan